i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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