But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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