We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
