My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
