Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
