dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
