I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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