return my video game
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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