I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
