Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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