She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
