Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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