So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
