it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
