when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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