I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
