You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
