HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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