I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
