Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize