I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
