I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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