so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
