it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
