Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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