we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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