So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
