I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
