At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
