He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
