and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
