I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
