so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well I just put wine in my tea
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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