too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
