the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
