It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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