Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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