Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
