My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
