The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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