i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
