I accidentally burped into my bong.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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