you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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