Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I am one with the molecules
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
