i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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