Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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