i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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