i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
