So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize