those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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