I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
