I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
