Well apparently he's into motor boating.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
