I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
And then my night got REAL pukey
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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