maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
