I can't watch pbs sober anymore
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
