Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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