Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
