I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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