i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
