I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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