he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
