Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
