he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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